It was never my favorite worship song. The first line always hung me up. It’s all about you, Jesus. All I could ever hear in my head was: It’s all about ME, Jesus.
And Matt Redman had his go at it – The Heart of Worship. “I’m coming back to the heart of worship, and it’s all about you, Jesus.” But is it, really?
If you were to take what is being written about Christianity from folks who consider themselves within and without the fold over the past ten or fifteen years (or longer) you would have to conclude that it’s all bout me, us, millennials, post-moderns, dying main-line churches, gen x, gen y. It’s all about how we classify ourselves as “religious”, “spiritual but not religious”, “nones”, “dones”. Calvinists, Catholics, Methodists, Charismatics, Progressives, Orthodox. Have I missed any? Of course I have!
So let’s get this much over with: I’m a United Methodist. I don’t know if that helps anyone truly know me. I think of myself as “progressive”, but I’m not sure that gives you any useful information about who I truly am.
I’ve cried at funerals. And at weddings. I’ve been angry at injustice, and I’ve been all too tolerant of injustice. I’m afraid and I’m brave. I don’t want to be alone and I am nervous in crowds. Is this helping? Do you know me? Can you hear me now?
I don’t know how to communicate to the people I love the most that I love them. I’ve told them, but the words sound hollow. I’m in awe of the universe. Occasionally I am paralyzed with wonder, especially when I listen to the music of Monteverdi.
I am absolutely captivated by the Bible. It’s the stories! Somehow, I keep finding myself in those stories. A prodigal, a sinner, a self-righteous religious leader, an outcast. Patriarchal, repentant, so desperately wanting to walk on water and so deathly afraid to get out of the boat. It’s all about me … it really is! I can’t relate to the women, but there are times when their being taken for granted or held for little worth as human beings – sometimes I can relate to that. A child; wanting to be thought of by Jesus as the “best”. I’m a faith-filled denier, an orthodox heretic, blind, deaf, dumb.
It’s all about me, Jesus! The thing is, I’m not sure if I do or I don’t want it to be this way. Will I be forgotten? Will people disregard me? Will they want to hear what I say or read what I write? Does anybody care what I’m doing this weekend? Should they? Should I take a picture of what I’m about to eat and “post it”?
Should I disappear now? (Slip out sideways?) Should I decrease so that he (or she) can increase? Is this enough about me? Did you want to say anything about yourself?